Meghan Markle has opened up about experiencing a heartbreaking miscarriage over the summer. The Duchess and husband, Prince Harry, were expecting their second child, but as Markle details in an New York Times Op-Ed, they now face the “unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few.”
For Meghan, it started out like a normal day. The 39-year-old was tending to her son Archie when she realized something just wasn’t right.
After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right.
I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.
Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband’s hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we’d heal.
As Meghan and Harry coped with the devastating loss, they began to the road to healing by asking themselves, “are we ok?” That question also lead Markle to reckoning with other devastating events of 2020 including COVID-19 and social injustices — in the NY Times pieces she even specifically named the tragic deaths of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd.
But, through the pain both Meghan and Harry found solace in sharing their truth — a truth that unfortunately so many others share:
In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 of them will have suffered from miscarriage. Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning.
Some have bravely shared their stories; they have opened the door, knowing that when one person speaks truth, it gives license for all of us to do the same. We have learned that when people ask how any of us are doing, and when they really listen to the answer, with an open heart and mind, the load of grief often becomes lighter — for all of us. In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing.
The Duchess ends her NT Times opinion by replying to the question that she and Harry had to face in the midst of their miscarriage, ‘are we ok?’ The Answer … “We will be.”
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