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R. Kelly: “Groupie Remorse” Is Running Rampant!

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R. Kelly is trying his damnedest to get out (and stay out) of jail — even resorting to made up medical conditions and pure tomfoolery.

The R&B singer is begging a judge to let him out of jail, before his pending trial, claiming that he doesn’t pose a flight risk and the charges against him just aren’t legit. According to TMZ, Kels attorney has stated, “groupies sought out Robert’s attention, even fought each other for it, voluntarily contacted him, came to his shows, pined to be with him …”

The attorney, Douglas Anton, doesn’t stop there. In docs submitted to the judge, he claims, “the government is trying to paint a picture of a nefarious pattern, but it all amounts to ‘five disgruntled groupies, not all of which are alleged to be underage, who now show groupie remorse so many years later and only after a TV Show and an aggressive, vocal Cook County prosecutor makes a public cry for victims come forth, tell your story and be famous’.”

What. The Hell. Is “Groupie Remorse”? Kelly’s team has created a condition in which groupies are so sad when they leave the Pied Piper that they abandon their own anonymity, ruin their own lives, subject themselves to intense public scrutiny AND the court of law. All for what? That doesn’t even make sense Robert! On top of the fact that they (allegedly) have this man ON TAPE performing some of the heinous acts he’s been accused of — how is that groupie remorse?

At this point, Robert should quit while he’s behind.

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