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Mariah Carey is a multi-Grammy Award winning artist who to most people, appears to live a perfectly magical life. But what fans are now learning is that the singer is bipolar.

Over the past two decades, the star has not only been labeled as a diva, but has also been known to have a unique and quirky personality; much of which was chronicled on her doc-series, Being Mariah. Now it’s safe to say that there was something behind Carey’s antics.

Although very personal, Mariah is finally speaking out about her battle with bipolar II disorder. In an exclusive interview with People magazine, the actress explained that she is just now coming to terms with her illness despite being diagnosed in 2001.

“I didn’t want to believe it,” she said. “Until recently I lived in denial and isolation and in constant fear someone would expose me.”

Mimi told the publication, “It was too heavy a burden to carry and I simply couldn’t do that anymore. I sought and received treatment, I put positive people around me and I got back to doing what I love — writing songs and making music.”

Last year, the singer had a string of mishaps, including breakups, breakdowns, firing her team and we can’t forget about the disastrous 2017 NYE performance. But now, the star is taking control and getting back on track.

“I’m actually taking medication that seems to be pretty good. It’s not making me feel too tired or sluggish or anything like that. Finding the proper balance is what is most important,” she explained that “for a long time I thought I had a severe sleep disorder. But it wasn’t normal insomnia and I wasn’t lying awake counting sheep.”

The 48-year-old continued, “I was working and working and working … I was irritable and in constant fear of letting people down. It turns out that I was experiencing a form of mania. Eventually I would just hit a wall. I guess my depressive episodes were characterized by having very low energy. I would feel so lonely and sad — even guilty that I wasn’t doing what I needed to be doing for my career.”

As for why she is now coming forward with the truth, she explained, “I’m just in a really good place right now, where I’m comfortable discussing my struggles with bipolar II disorder. I’m hopeful we can get to a place where the stigma is lifted from people going through anything alone. It can be incredibly isolating. It does not have to define you and I refuse to allow it to define me or control me.”

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