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In public, Chrissy Teigen is the hilarious, off-the-cuff, gorgeous super model, but behind closed doors she was suffering an unimaginable existence … postpartum depression.

Teigen welcomed her first child, daughter Luna Simone, with husband John Legend, last April. But soon after the Sports Illustrated model said she just didn’t feel like herself. In a recent interview with Glamour magazine, Chrissy opened up about her struggle.

“I was different than before. Getting out of bed to get to set on time was painful. My lower back throbbed; my shoulders — even my wrists — hurt,” she described. “I didn’t have an appetite, would go two days without a bite of food, and you know how big of a deal food is for me. One thing that really got me was just how short I was with people.”

But, even with all of those symptoms the “Lip-Sync Battle” host still was unaware of what she was dealing with until she visited her doctor.

“John sat next to me. I looked at my doctor, and my eyes welled up because I was so tired of being in pain. Of sleeping on the couch. Of waking up throughout the night. Of throwing up. Of taking things out on the wrong people. Of not enjoying life. Of not seeing my friends. Of not having the energy to take my baby for a stroll. My doctor pulled out a book and started listing symptoms. And I was like, ‘Yep, yep, yep.’ I got my diagnosis: postpartum depression and anxiety.”

Thankfully, Teigen is in a better place and is hoping her experience will help other mothers out there dealing with the same thing.

“I’m speaking up now because I want people to know it can happen to anybody, and I don’t want people who have it to feel embarrassed or to feel alone. I also don’t want to pretend like I know everything about postpartum depression, because it can be different for everybody. But one thing I do know is that — for me — just merely being open about it helps.”

We’re glad Chrissy is feeling back to her old self! You can read the full interview here.

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