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Justin Bieber performed a plethora of his number one hits during Sunday night’s Billboard Music Awards, but what fans at home probably didn’t realize is that Justin actually is anti award shows. We know, weird right?

The Biebs went on a lengthy rant on Monday morning about his disgust for awards shows and how he usually feels during and after.

“I don’t know about these award shows.. No disrespect to anybody at any of the shows or the people running it. Nothing but love for you guys and your support. But I don’t feel good when I’m there nor after,” he wrote.

Justin continued, “I try to think of it as a celebration but can’t help feeling like people are rating and grading my performance. A lot of people in the audience there to be seem worried about how much camera time they will get or who they can network with.”

He explained, “When I’m doing a regular show I feel they are there for the right reasons and to strictly have a good time! But these award shows seem so hollow. I get the premise is to award people for their accomplishments, but is it really? Because when I look in the audience I see a bunch of fake smiles so that when the camera hits them they look happy. Sure there are people truly proud of others so I don’t want to knock them I’m just looking at the vast majority.”

The singer, who has won dozens of awards, including several Grammy Awards,  iHeart Awards and Billboard Awards expressed that he’s reached a juncture in his life where he wants to live his “purpose.”

“I just think to myself if I’m living my purpose I want the reward to be fulfillment. I’m getting awarded for the things that I’m doing and not for who I am which is understandable I know it would probably be hard to calculate and award someone’s spirit lol. But When I do get these awards the temptation of putting my worth in what I do is so hard to fight!!!I am privileged and honored to be recognized by my peers in but in these settings I can’t feel the recognition. There’s an authenticity missing that I crave! And I wonder does anybody else.. Sorry not sorry about grammar it’s not my strong point.” 

Earlier this month, Bieber made headlines after showing some bizarre behavior; behavior many thought were signs of the singer having a meltdown. Not only did the pop star declare “no more photos” with fans, but also he was spotted feeding a squirrel, sitting in a tree and walking around barefoot.

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